Thursday, May 22, 2008

Round 2 - Burton House

Hi folks. It's me, Ashley Burton, here to update you on the Burton family. Yes I'm giving this little tour of our lives because my mother, Kimmy Burton, recently passed away.

She had been so happy having all these grandkids. I mean she was on top of the world for all of one day. Then DEATH dropped by and picked her up. It's that just like life. The minute you are truly happy, it ends.

Well I was the only one home at the times. I was off work that day so I was watching Kelly and Jackie's kids for them. I might hate my sisters but I do love their kids. Oh and Cal had stopped by. He's always stopping by. Just walk in and make yourself at home why don't ya?

So, where was I? Oh yea. Mom's passing upset me more than I would have liked. Totally bumbed me out. I mean, we didn't treat her well in the end and she still left money to all of us. So I was at pretty low and I needed some immediate cheering up. Only one thing would get me out of these dulldrums. Woohoo. So....I might have let Cal talk me into something I would later regret. I have a weakness for that man. All the Burton women do. It's down right disgusting the way he's pitted us all against each other. And we just let him. Can't seem to help ourselves. So sad.

Well later that night Jackie's twins had their birthday. Little Sasha grew into an overly neat, overly outgoing, overly playful, overly nice completely lazy toddler. Cute though.

Sawyer, well he's way to nice but otherwise he's pretty average. I have to tell you right now that I never believed Jackie when she said that Cal wasn't her twins daddy. No. I didn't believe a word of it. Not until their birthday. The kids don't look anything like Cal. So maybe she is telling the truth. I won't admit it to her though. We aren't speaking. I'd rather attack her than have a conversation with her. Kelly feels the same way. We both wish she'd just pack up and head out. But, alas, she remains.

Well me, I've always had a dream of dating lots of different guys. Well I'm not getting any younger so I thought I'd better get started with that. Things just keep getting in the way and interfering with my plans though. Like this pregnancy for one. Don't tell me you didn't notice. Darn Cal. Darn risky woohoo. I thought I was being careful. I didn't want any kids. NONE. But what's done is done and it can't be undone. So yeah, I'm having Cal Evans' love child.

Lord I hope my child doesn't look like Cal. Kelly's twins do. Poor little Jala. She looks so much like Cal it's scary.

And Bailey, she's not any better. We ought to just stamp Evans on their foreheads.

At least the dating thing has been going ok. One of the Ashski brothers, Layton I think, left me a really cool stereo. If only I could find the time or the energy I might get some more dates under my belt. Unfortunately this kido in my belly has been keeping me in bed lately. I swear if I have twins I'll throw myself off the nearest bridge.

Well Kelly's twins have started school. Despite looking like their daddy, they are adorable in their little winter outfits. Oh and did you notice, I've started landscaping the yard. No time like the present I always say. I also hired a maid and a gardner. You don't think I'm doing the upkeep do you? Lord no. But the place needs to look presentable for my dates. When I ever get to the point that I can date again.

Well Jackie dropped a bombshell just the other day. She invited over her fiance. I know. Hard to believe that anyone would actually want to marry her. Apparently this Austin Monterey guy does. Maybe he's hard up for a woman. I don't know. I just met him.

I did notice right away that he looked like Jackie's twins. I guess old Jackie has been holding out on us. Not that we would have listened to her if she told us but still. She could have tried. So Austin seemed a little shocked to find out that Jackie had twins. Even more shocked to find out that they were his. He did spend the entire evening playing with Sawyer. Ignored Sasha completely though. I don't think I like this man. Kelly agrees with me. He's scum. But he can have Jackie. They deserve each other.
Well Sasha is now a lovely young lady with her father's eyes. Yes the evil man does have nice eyes. I noticed. I'm not dead ya know.
Sawyer is just a character. As the only Burton male, we all spoil him rotten. He has every woman in the house wrapped around his little finger. He's going to be a little heart breaker one day.

Jackie's twins no nothing but talk about the day when their mom and dad will get married. I hate to tell them that it may never happen. I don't want to hurt their feelings but I'm not sure their dad is truly the marrying kind. Of course I thought that about Cal too and he up and married my sister Shannon. Of course we don't speak her name in this house. Witch wanted him. Witch got him. Witch can go to Hades for all I care.
What is wrong with that Monterey fellow? He is around all the time now days. He was even here when I gave birth to my daughter Ria. I mean seriously, GO HOME!
Well with the baby popped out I was hoping to get some more dating in. I wanted my sisters to watch my baby for me while I hit the town. They said they didn't have time. They were to busy. Why the dirty little pains in my behind. Oh they will so pay for this. I watched their smelly babies. Why can't they watch mine?
It's just not fair. Mom would be all over them if she were here. She would have cussed them too if she knew that they were treating her favorite daughter this way.
So instead of dating I just worked on another promotion. There have been a lot of promotions in this household lately. The money situation is stable. More redecorating can take place soon. But this spring, I'm hitting the town for a little blind dating. Watch out men, here I come.

The Burton House:

Ashley Burton - pleasure - 50 1st dates (currently had 3) - working as a College Senior Professor
Ria Burton - baby
Kelly Burton - popularity - celebrity chef - working as a Sous Chef
Jala Burton - child
Bailey Burton - child
Ashley Burton - pleasure - top gaming field - working as a real time strategist
Sasha Burton - child
Sawyer Burton - child

Kimmy Burton passed away in platinum having achieved her lifetime want of 6 grandkids but without top influence.

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